Children – not users – are the real victims of child porn
Regarding Bill McClellan’s column “Better to cut off child porn at the source” (April 27):The issue of child pornography is not something for which one should feel pity for offenders.The victims are not the guys who get caught; the real victims are the children who are photographed and sexually used.Their lives never will be the same.This abuse will affect the child’s self-esteem and relational abilities.If it were your 5-year-old daughter being stripped and photographed, would you think a five-year prison sentence was enough?This isn’t a petty social crime; it’s the ravaging of a life.What’s that worth in terms of prison time?
One of the great scenes in the play, “Fiddler On The Roof,” finds the main character, Tevye, asking his wife Golda, “Do you love me?”She responds, “Do I love you?For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes, cooked your meals, cleaned your house, given you children, milked the cow.”Tevye responds, “Yes, but do you love me?”That question speaks to what may be the deepest hunger of the human soul ~ to love and be loved.In psychology we call it “being attached,” or “attachment.”
Social scientists tell us that our culture is undergoing significant changes at its core.They say we are now living in the “Post-Christian era.”They tell us the “traditional family” in which mother stays home with the kids, and dad provides the earned income, is rapidly fading in the rear view mirror.Some estimate that only 4% of today’s marriages fit with the “traditional” model of our parents’ and grandparents’ day.
One of the greatest changes of all is that the philosophy of Post Modernism has begun to redefine much of our culture’s value system.Things that used to be considered “truth” and “sacrosanct,” today are considered personal opinion. A philosophy of “do whatever works for you” has become dominant, replacing the previous generation’s philosophy of “do what is right.”And this is where the “rub” begins, because doing what seems right for each person can only lead to the conclusion of chaos and abuse of power.
These modern trends have created a lot of questions in regard to the definition and meaning of love.In the next few paragraphs we’ll look at a few questions regarding love, because they will set the stage for the answers provided later in this paper.
To read more click the icon at the top of this page
Getting To Know You Questions To Discuss As You Prepare For A Lifetime Together
Almost everyone who marries, believes during the months of their courtship and engagement that they are well matched with their future spouses. Most relationships go through rather predictable first stages. The first stage is usually identified as “the romantic stage” of a relationship. This stage may or may not be accompanied by gushy romantic feelings – but it is almost always a stage in which both parties tend to idealize one another. During this stage of idealization it’s pretty normal for both parties to believe they know the answers to most of the deep and personal things each partner considers important prior to marriage.
However, things change – individuals mature, usually not at the same rate – and as someone once said, “Truth will out.” As relationships grow into deeper more stable post-romantic phases, often the very things which drew a couple together in the beginning become problematic issues, hurdles to be overcome a year or two later. As odd as it may sound, sometimes couples don’t even begin to process some of the most important issues pertaining to the values, expectations, ways of functioning, and roles of their relationship until months after they are married. Any pastor or marriage counselor will tell you that couples will process this level of material – it’s just a matter of when.
As the partners’ experience of the word “intimacy” evolves from sexual overtones to connotations of a far deeper knowledge of the other person, it’s not uncommon for people to uncover surprises in one another. While there are always going to be some surprises in marriage, the more couples can plumb one another’s emotional and spiritual “stuff” prior to marriage, the fewer surprises are likely, and the easier the emotional and spiritual adjustment will generally be following marriage.
What follows are a series of questions aimed at helping couples to process important information prior to marrying. There’s nothing magical about these questions. They are intended to lead couples into areas of deeper reflection as people who are probably “in love” consider pledging their lives to one another “until death do us part.” The reader is encouraged to use the following questions as a format for several “dates,” giving a few minutes to each question as both partners give their answers and then discuss them. If you marry, one way or another you will process this level of information. Wisdom says it’s smart to do so before getting wedding rings on those fourth fingers.
Read article with responses
Read responses
Respond to this article
